YOUNG KYLE sits at the edge of a dock fishing. He puts a worm on the hook and drops
his line into the water.
OLD KYLE enters slowly, walking with a cane, and sits down
next to him.
OLD
KYLE
I
thought I might find you here.
YOUNG
KYLE
It’s
the only place you ever find me…
OLD
KYLE
Yeah,
I guess you’re right. It’s the
only time
we
seem to be able to find to spend together.
YOUNG KYLE lifts his rod up and finds nothing on his hook.
OLD KYLE pulls a string out of his shirt pocket and ties it
to the end of his cane.
YOUNG
KYLE
I
have a rod that you are more than welcome to use.
OLD
KYLE
I
have a cane I am more than welcome to beat you
with, if you don’t let me do things my way.
YOUNG
KYLE
Have
it your way, old man.
OLD KYLE raises his cane as if about to strike YOUNG
KYLE.
Both laugh.
YOUNG
KYLE
I
know you could never hurt me.
OLD
KYLE
I
could easily hit you right here and now with
this
stick until you turne the color of a blueberry.
YOUNG
KYLE
Yes,
you could. But it still wouldn’t
hurt.
OLD KYLE jabs YOUNG KYLE with his elbow lovingly.
YOUNG
KYLE
OW!
(sarcastic)
OLD
KYLE
Whatever. (laughs)
YOUNG
KYLE
Your
arm is all bone old man. No muscle
or fat
left
on it. You need to eat more.
OLD KYLE pulls a worm out of his front pants pocket and puts
it on the hook.
YOUNG KYLE gives him a weird look.
OLD KYLE leers back at him.
OLD
KYLE
What? You never seen someone hook a
worm before?
YOUNG
KYLE
I
have…but not after taking the worm out of
their pants
pocket.
OLD
KYLE
You kids think
you know everything. Let me
Tell you the
secret to catching more fish…
OLD KYLE pauses what he is doing to look YOUNG KYLE in the
eyes.
OLD
KYLE
The
key, champ, is to keep your worms warm.
YOUNG
KYLE
Really…?
OLD
KYLE
Yes…
OLD KYLE continues to hook the worm.
OLD
KYLE
…and
keep them clean.
OLD KYLE proceeds to put both ends of the worm into his mouth
to clean off any lint or dirt.
YOUNG KYLE gags slightly.
OLD KYLE laughs at him.
OLD
KYLE
It’s
a rubber worm. It’s not even real.
YOUNG
KYLE
Yes,
but it’s the same rubber worm you have
been
using for years now!! Do you know
how
many
fish have had that same worm in their
mouths
over the years??
OLD
KYLE
None.
YOUNG
KYLE
NONE?? You just said the trick was to keep
your
worms
warm and clean! And you have never
caught
a single fish using that technique??
OLD
KYLE
Yes,
but this isn’t a real worm. This
is a gag worm.
YOUNG
KYLE
Gag is right!
OLD KYLE reaches into the worm bucket and pulls a real worm out.
OLD
KYLE
You
have to do it with a real worm.
Here,
try
it on this night crawler. Promise
it’ll work.
YOUNG
KYLE
No
thank you old man. I’d rather go
home empty-
handed
than have worm-breath.
OLD
KYLE
Suit
yourself.
OLD KYLE throws the worm into the lake. BOTH watch in amazement…
YOUNG
KYLE
Did
you see that?? That fish just
jumped up out
of the water and
caught the worm mid-air!
OLD
KYLE
Because the worm was
warm…and clean.
YOUNG
KYLE
Whatever, old
man.
Both fish for a brief pause in the conversation.
OLD
KYLE
So
where are you now…?
YOUNG
KYLE
…I’m
on a dock fishing with you.
OLD
KYLE
You
know what I mean…
YOUNG
KYLE
Why
do we always have to talk about this
stuff? Why can’t we just sit and have a normal
conversation like
two normal people?
OLD
KYLE
Because I like to
know about YOU. I want to
hear about the
things YOU are doing. I want to
hear about what
YOU are feeling.
YOUNG KYLE is reluctant.
YOUNG
KYLE
Fine.
OLD KYLE sits back to enjoy the stories.
YOUNG
KYLE
What
was happening the last time we talked?
OLD
KYLE
You
had just met Alice…
YOUNG
KYLE
Alice?? Really?? I haven’t even seen or talked
to her in months
now. I doubt she even remembers
who I am.
OLD
KYLE
She remembers
you. Trust me, she remembers
you clear as
daylight. Don’t give up on her…
YOUNG
KYLE
Well, I’m seeing
Stacy now.
OLD
KYLE
Bitch.
YOUNG
KYLE
Hey!!!
OLD
KYLE
Trust
me: B.I.T.C.H. – bitch.
YOUNG
KYLE
Don’t
ruin good things for me like that!
I
like
her a lot!
OLD
KYLE
Bitch.
YOUNG
KYLE
STOP!
OLD
KYLE
Bitch
and a half.
YOUNG
KYLE
PLEASE!
OLD
KYLE
An
entire litter of bitches…all in one big
hairy stinking
bitch. Emphasis on the hairy,
if you catch my
drift.
OLD KYLE nudges and winks at YOUNG KYLE.
OLD
KYLE
Just
be careful not to catch anything else from
her. That’s probably the reason for the
‘hairy’
now
that I’m thinking about it…
YOUNG
KYLE
Oh
my…ugh…just STOP already!!
OLD
KYLE
Just
take my advice and get away. Stay
away.
We
will both be happier for it.
YOUNG
KYLE
OK. Noted.
Both fish for a brief pause in the conversation.
YOUNG KYLE opens a Coke and drinks it.
OLD
KYLE
How
is your old man?
YOUNG
KYLE
He’s
doing ok. All things
considered. He’s in
remission
right now. He seems to be doing
pretty well. The doctors are hopeful.
OLD
KYLE
They always
are. You should see him as much
as you can the
next few weeks. They say he’s
doing better…but
it’s their job to lie and give
you a false hope.
YOUNG
KYLE
I figured…
OLD
KYLE
You seem to be
taking that news ok…
YOUNG
KYLE
Well, you know –
we never have been close.
Growing up with
mom and only seeing dad a
few times a year
didn’t really help cultivate a
close strong
bond. Mom only let us have a dog…
OLD
KYLE
Are you still
upset over mom substituting a pet dog
instead of buying
you a pet Brontosaurus??
YOUNG
KYLE
Dogs need people
to do chores for them. Clean up
their poo, feed
them, get them water, pet and play
with them.
A Brontosaurus is more like a cat. Big hairless, overgrown
felines. A brontosaurus is self-sufficient and
can live
on it’s own
without people. They proved that
by
doing it for
millions of years.
OLD
KYLE
And then they
died. (pause) Because nobody fed them
YOUNG
KYLE
And an asteroid
hit the earth causing global flooding
and freezing and
then the glaciers took them away.
OLD
KYLE
Don’t
get all ‘conspiracy theory’ on me!
OLD
AND YOUNG KYLE
Whatever.
Both laugh together.
OLD
KYLE
Where
are you working now?
YOUNG
KYLE
Warehouse.
OLD KYLE
Kenningstones?
YOUNG KYLE
Yep. It pays the bills.
OLD
KYLE
Don’t
worry. It’ll get better…after the
port-o-potty
gig.
YOUNG
KYLE
The WHAT??
OLD
KYLE
Just
kidding.
Both fish for a brief pause in the conversation.
OLD
KYLE
Did
you finally stop smoking?
YOUNG
KYLE
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
OLD
KYLE
Good. Good for us.
YOUNG
KYLE
Would
you like some chew?
OLD
KYLE
HOW
IS THAT ANY BET…?
Both laugh.
OLD
KYLE
Yeah,
you got me.
Both fish for a brief pause in the conversation.
OLD
KYLE
There’s
something else I want to talk to you about…
YOUNG
KYLE
Sure,
what is it…?
OLD
KYLE
This
may be my last visit.
YOUNG
KYLE
Wait. What??
OLD
KYLE
I
have a lot of things wrong with me.
Repercussions
from
years of living like you have.
YOUNG
KYLE
I’m
sorry.
OLD
KYLE
Don’t
be. It’s been a good life.
YOUNG
KYLE
Any
regrets old man?
OLD
KYLE
Just
one.
YOUNG
KYLE
Only one?? What is that…?
OLD
KYLE
You
mean, ‘WHO is it?’…Stacy.
YOUNG
KYLE
Son
of a…
YOUNG
AND OLD KYLE
Bitch.
OLD
KYLE
…I’m
telling you…
Both fish for a brief pause in the conversation.
OLD
KYLE
I
guess I should be on my way…
YOUNG
KYLE
You
don’t have to go. We can stay and
chat longer…
OLD
KYLE
No,
I really should be leaving. I left
my
meds
at home.
YOUNG
KYLE
Can
I ask you a question before you go?
OLD
KYLE
Sure.
YOUNG
KYLE
How
old are you?
OLD
KYLE
It
doesn’t matter. Fill the years
between your present
and
my present with as much fun and love and
adventure
as you can, so that when it ends, it won’t
even
matter how long it took you to get there, but
that
you did enough during that time to be content.
YOUNG
KYLE
Yeah. I guess you’re right.
OLD KYLE stands up and smiles at YOUNG KYLE.
OLD
KYLE
We
turned out ok, kid. We did good.
YOUNG
KYLE
Yeah,
we did, didn’t we?
YOUNG KYLE fishes for a brief pause in the
conversation.
YOUNG
KYLE
(hollers
back to OLD KYLE)
I
love you!
YOUNG KYLE turns to see that OLD KYLE is already gone.
YOUNG
KYLE
(whispered
more to himself)
Really…I
love you. I love us…
YOUNG KYLE checks his hook to see nothing there.
OLD
KYLE
(from
offstage)
I
LOVE YOU TOO!!
YOUNG KYLE grins big.
No comments:
Post a Comment